Tag Archives: respect

Seduction is Exclusive

So as you know, I’m a fan of Beyonce and last night I was lucky enough to attend her Mrs. Carter show at the Verizon Center here in D.C. and first, let me start by saying WHAT a SHOW. Holy moly. She played all her hits and a new song on her new and ever-popular visual album and she did it all with energy and eternal gratitude for the fans that came out in droves for the show on a WEDNESDAY. She’s a performer, a feminist and a damn powerful singer.

Picture I took at the Mrs. Carter Show. Please note this ever fab purple jumpsuit Beyonce is sporting.

Picture I took at the Mrs. Carter Show. Please note this ever fab purple jumpsuit Beyonce is sporting.

In between sets she took the time to change her wardrobe from one leotard to another then to the purple jumpsuit clad in sequins, an outfit that even Elton John would be envy. While her quick changes were happening behind the scenes she put together video introductions of the next song/set coming up.

My favorite quote of the evening (p.s. Ms. Bey a poet) introduced “Naughty Girl.”

Here it goes:
“Seduction is much more than beauty. It is generous. It is intelligent. It’s mysterious. It’s exclusive.”-Beyonce

This is right on and I think it embodies Beyonce’s multiple performance personalities. She’s the fierce female, the confident hustler, Houston dirty with a touch of southern hospitality and ballad belle.

Something we have as women is seduction (no hair fan required, also can I have one of those following me around everywhere… please?) and the ability to feel and be sexy, but that sexy comes in many different forms and Beyonce captures it perfectly in her poetic nuances.

As females we are givers and caring individuals just by nature, because science. So when we are in seduction mode and being all “heeeeyyyyyyy how you doin’?” we are giving the men (or women!) our attention not because we think we can sack ‘em per se, but because we chose them for x, y, z reason. We shouldn’t be giving away our hearts or our bodies for free. We are sacred.

We must first learn to love and respect ourselves if we expect love and respect in return from others.

and if others don’t love and respect you, they don’t deserve you proceed to tell them to get gone… to the left, to the left!




Mad at Marissa? [a guest post]

Today’s guest post is by Megan Cassidy of MegCassidy.com! She is one of the many lovely bloggers I met while attending the ultimate unconference that was  (*tear*) Bloggers in Sin City. Her post covers Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s CEO, who recently was photographed for an article in Vogue. Thanks Megan for sharing your thoughts aiming to inspire women to eliminate negativity and instead spin it, dip it and flip it to the positive side! It’s time as women, we support each other! 

When I was growing up, I had a thing for Tom Brady and magazines (the thing for Tom Brady still very much exists). If he was on a magazine cover – whether it was GQ, Interview, Esquire, ESPN – me, the 15- or 16-year old, bought it and devoured it, strange looks from store cashiers be damned. I loved reading about my hero, but even more, I appreciated the photos. And not just because he looks like he does. He is impeccably styled to fit the setting he’s in…chilling in overalls with goats, in a t-shirt eating cereal, being a boss in a suit. He is a “man of style,” and he’s almost universally celebrated for it.

Then we have Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s CEO, who is profiled and photographed in the latest issue of Vogue. The profile chronicles Mayer’s transition of being a new mother, while navigating being a first-time CEO. If you’ve read about Mayer before, none of it is really surprising. She’s a well-educated, whip smart, driven woman who has earned her success over 14 years of work. She’s also been controversial, taking only two weeks off after the birth of her son, and disallowing Yahoo’s work-from-home policy.

Once again, some are up in arms over the profile and the photo. My initial reaction was frustration, at how some women continue to judge other women for one reason or another. Here is one of the most successful people in the world, looking her best, and people are angry about it? Did I miss something?

I did, actually. It might simple be for men (Tom Brady, for example), but for women it is so, so different. After getting some really thoughtful tweets and reactions from friends of mine, I started to see the bigger issues.

The idea that being beautiful and being smart are mutually exclusive is infuriating. The concept of “having it all” is not only infuriating, but running women ragged in pursuit of “it all.” The headline of this CNN story makes me want to kick myself in the face.

While I can understand some frustration and anger directed towards Mayer, from where I work and how I live, she is something to aspire to. I work at a place where the majority of employees are men. Fortunately, there’s an atmosphere of respect and professionalism with almost everyone I work with. The women I work with, especially the well-dressed ones, naturally stand out. That doesn’t change the fact that most successful women are smart, don’t take shit from anyone, command respect and have earned everything that’s come to them. They each have their own sense of style and self.

I think what has me baffled by the whole thing, and the larger issue, is that it’s a story at all. Why must it continue to be a big deal when a successful woman is celebrated with beautiful photos? It’s easy to blame the media for portraying women as it does, and that’s a problem. Media has a huge influence on how we view the world and its constructs. But instead of blaming the media, what if more women viewed Mayer’s success and style in a positive light, and someone who inspires them?

However you choose to view this, in a positive or negative light, remember it’s a choice and it’s yours alone. I guess it comes back to my original thought when I saw the photo and read the piece…maybe it’s because I can relate to working in a male-dominated field, maybe it’s just because I think Mayer is gorgeous, accomplished and I choose to admire her for it. That’s my choice.
What did you think about the profile and photo? If you’re not a fan, how would you rather have seen her look?
BISC Done-Headshots-0092 smallMegan Cassidy works at ESPN, loves having adventures in Connecticut, watches obscene amounts of football and Giada de Laurentis, and runs mostly on iced coffee and blueberries. She blogs about sports and other fabulous things at megcassidy.com. She tweets about sports and other fabulous things here.