Author Archives: Karlyn

14 Things to Start Doing in 2014

In the spirit of the New Year I’m listing 14 things we women, girls, females need to start doing in 2014!

Ready, steady, GO!

1. Say “yes” to yourself more
and “no” others or activities that really just don’t give you that “omg, I’m going to pee my pants I’m so excited” feeling! 

2. Exercise not to “get thin”, but because endorphins make you feel all the happies
Because, science

3. Accepting that life is a journey and you’re exactly where you’re supposed to be
hey fate, I’m looking at you

NewYear20144. Take a deep breath and relax
Maybe it’s yoga, a massage, some peace and quiet with a good book, or even a glass of wine. cheers! *clink*

5. Cherish moments with family & friends focusing more on the experience of being with each other and…

6. For the love of all things, put down the phone and walk a way
We’re all guilty of it. Desperately wanting to capture that moment, freeze it in time for eternity, posting it on the web, for eternity, but what about relishing the moment without the digital device? Try it. I think you and I will like it! 

7. Be mindful of spending
This year I have a goal of finally getting out of my parents house, yup I’m 25 and live at home because 1) real estate and rent in the DC metro area in outrageous and 2) I’d rather spend money on bottomless brunches and traveling. I’m tracking my spending, maybe cutting out some traveling, setting up automatic banking transfers to my savings, getting my Roth IRA up to speed and start some investing. Oh hey adulthood, waddup. By focusing on these simple and sometimes daunting tasks your 65 year old self will be happy to retire and not be poor. YAY!

8. Dance more, because again happies
Whether you dance in the club, Zumba at the gym, take salsa or line dance lessons or simply prancercise around your bedroom in your undies, we all need to let loose! 

9. Write life in a journal
When I was 10, I started my journaling experience filling up an entire composition book of my thoughts and daily activities, and I can’t wait to stumbled upon that lovely piece of literary (ha!) work! Writing is therapeutic and often allows us to reflect on our day, week, month.  Plus, it’ll be fun for your relatives to comb through your life archives when you’re 90.

10. Finish things you start, this includes books, movies, and dreams
HUGE focus on dreams.  For about a year, I’ve had this business idea I’ve let fear wiggle its way in to my psyche! You can’t fail if you never take that first step and START! Getting to it “later” often means “never.”  That thing you’ve been waiting to start, be like Nike and just do it! 

11. Start to put yourself out into the dating world.
Personally, I was pretty dang bold in the realm of dating in the latter half of 2013, I randomly Facebook messaged one of these handsome guys from Inside Edition segment (successfully going out on a few dates), tweeted at Ryan Kerrigan of the Washington Redskins to be my NYE date. (to no avail) But seriously if anyone knows Kerrigan, holler atcha girl!!

12. Start believing in yourself
This is kind of like number 10, but if you can dream it you can do it. And for us fierce females we have to start doing because we are capable and we shouldn’t let the media, men, other females or anyone else dampen that spirit.

13. Learn something new
Coding, Photography, and there’s always those Pinterest recipes and crafts that no matter how many you pin, they will not make themselves.

14. Be you!

WHAT ARE SOME THINGS YOU’RE GOING TO START DOING IN 2014?!? Leave a comment! Happy New Year!

Seduction is Exclusive

So as you know, I’m a fan of Beyonce and last night I was lucky enough to attend her Mrs. Carter show at the Verizon Center here in D.C. and first, let me start by saying WHAT a SHOW. Holy moly. She played all her hits and a new song on her new and ever-popular visual album and she did it all with energy and eternal gratitude for the fans that came out in droves for the show on a WEDNESDAY. She’s a performer, a feminist and a damn powerful singer.

Picture I took at the Mrs. Carter Show. Please note this ever fab purple jumpsuit Beyonce is sporting.

Picture I took at the Mrs. Carter Show. Please note this ever fab purple jumpsuit Beyonce is sporting.

In between sets she took the time to change her wardrobe from one leotard to another then to the purple jumpsuit clad in sequins, an outfit that even Elton John would be envy. While her quick changes were happening behind the scenes she put together video introductions of the next song/set coming up.

My favorite quote of the evening (p.s. Ms. Bey a poet) introduced “Naughty Girl.”

Here it goes:
“Seduction is much more than beauty. It is generous. It is intelligent. It’s mysterious. It’s exclusive.”-Beyonce

This is right on and I think it embodies Beyonce’s multiple performance personalities. She’s the fierce female, the confident hustler, Houston dirty with a touch of southern hospitality and ballad belle.

Something we have as women is seduction (no hair fan required, also can I have one of those following me around everywhere… please?) and the ability to feel and be sexy, but that sexy comes in many different forms and Beyonce captures it perfectly in her poetic nuances.

As females we are givers and caring individuals just by nature, because science. So when we are in seduction mode and being all “heeeeyyyyyyy how you doin’?” we are giving the men (or women!) our attention not because we think we can sack ‘em per se, but because we chose them for x, y, z reason. We shouldn’t be giving away our hearts or our bodies for free. We are sacred.

We must first learn to love and respect ourselves if we expect love and respect in return from others.

and if others don’t love and respect you, they don’t deserve you proceed to tell them to get gone… to the left, to the left!

 

 

 

Got Insurance? Ads and the Miley Effect

Over a week ago I stumbled upon these insurance ads targeting “millennials.”  And it took me about that long to tame my frustration, disgust and anger to put my thoughts into digestible sentence for consumption. (yum)
The most aggressive ad features a photo of a titillated young woman standing beside a pleased-looking man and holding a packet of birth-control pills. The text reads, “Let’s get physical. OMG, he’s hot! Let’s hope he’s as easy to get as this birth control. My health insurance covers the pill, which means all I have to worry about is getting him between the covers. I got insurance. Now you can too. Thanks Obamacare!” Beneath their photo is the caption, “Susie & Nate Hot to Trot.” Grrrreattt. insurance1

This is the follow up to the original brosurance ads in the Got Insurance? campaign spearheaded by two Colorado non-profits, ProgressNow Colorado and Colorado Consumer Health Initiative. Both aim to encourage young people to enroll in the state’s new heath care exchange, part of the Affordable Care Act.
Though I would have loved to be at that meeting table when someone was like “hey, I’ve got an idea that is so ridiculous it might just work.”

I just find it appalling that no one had the moral compass or integrity to sit there and come up with educational pieces targeting millennials.

You know we have brains and opinions. And well in my opinion the millennial generation is one of the most progressive generations our culture has seen in a long time.
For example, if they were addimat in using the Hey Girl/Ryan Gosling imagery they could have had the copy on the ad read: Hey Girl! …GO GET INSURANCE SO YOU WON’T DIE UNDER A MOUNTAIN OF DEBT WHEN YOU GET SICK! insurance1Ryan(literally).

What’s even crazier is this ridiculous and sexist (yea I said it) ads are working  because they’re drawing attention based on the shock and awe factor, or the Miley Effect. Miley is a talented singer, but her shock and awe tactics (twerkin, wrecking ballin whilst only sporting boots while riding said wrecking ball) tend to overshadow that talent, but somehow keeps her relevant and in the news. This is similar to these ads; (go with me here) there’s a buzz circulating around in news and interwebz about how ridiculous and “oh I can’t believe they…”  keeping them newsworthy, in all the wrong ways because news outlets tend to make a hard left from the real (I hope) reason the ads were created: yo, young people get insurance to protect yourself!

What are your thoughts on these insurance ads? What would your ads say targeting young people to enroll in insurance?! Let me know in the comments!

Reinventing the Princess

A few weeks ago I heard about a new movement to reinvent the ‘Princess’ that we’ve become accustomed to little girls in our lives idolizing or dressing up as to collect treats during Halloween. You know the princesses I’m talking about, starts with “Diz” ends in “knee.” (say it out loud, friends).

Guardian Princess Alliance (GPA) has created a story book series that is on a quest to smash the Disney stereotypes into smithereens by characterizing new and culturally diverse princesses with a multitude of talents, knowledge, and special powers while incorporating different traditions native to countries around the world.

With the book series, GPA aims to transform the cultural meaning of princess into a positive role model who takes actions to help protect living beings and preserve the planet for future generations while moving the focus of the stories of each princess away from external beauty.

Though I have not read a story quite yet, (I hope to get a copy soon!) I have faith in this cause because it’s an equal mixture of education & interest (and uber talented illustrators!)

Education:
The books aim to teach girls that it’s not just about how a princess looks that makes her successful and a leader. Instead, this stereotype gets flipped on its noggin’ and allows these princesses to take ownership and leadership roles in their communities by being a guardian of “the land”, “the sea”, “animals”, “healing forests,” etc. all the while looking different (for once). Having the princesses represent different cultures is probably my favorite part of this story series because it gives the characters depth and creates an atmosphere that no matter what culture/country a girl comes from she too can be a leader, a princess.
Interest:

  • Princess = hot topic

Now, originally I wasn’t a fan of using “princess” at all to describe this new movement, but you have to think of marketing and what’s not only going to get the parent’s attention but also the girls to read up! So, I get it.

  • Environment = sizzling topic

With the ozone layer depleting, talks of global warming, animals going extinct and forestry being something of the past, a huge concern for parents (I haven’t checked with little girls) is ‘will there be something for my child or grandchild etc. to enjoy?’

  • Girl Power = balmy topic

This is a movement, creating these spaces whether its through literary works, campaigns, blogs like these, and organizations the topic of preparing girls to become the young and confident women of the future is ongoing and ever present in the mainstream media.

Now, here’s my ask! You know there’s always is one! (or 5) I encourage you to donate to the Indiegogo campaign (http://www.indiegogo.com/projects/the-guardian-princesses), which is set to close Nov 1!
No doll hairs ($$) to spare? It’s cool, leave a comment below answering the question, “If you could be a guardian princess of anything ever, what would it be?” If you leave a comment I may have a surprise for you! Anddddd I know people heart surprises! (it’s good, reallllly good, promise!)
gp_slide1

Habit Inheritance is Accidental

I have always said I was bold, independent and spoke my mind on issues that make you squirm in your chair in discomfort, but college student Lily Myers really does exhibit what SGS is all about—she doesn’t just smash girl stereotypes into smithereens she slams them, poetry style.

In her piece she tackles body image and the destruction a negative image can do to the psyche and plays the lead role in what space, as women, we “deserve to occupy.” Men are taught to grow out (body, voice, demeanor) and women are too often taught to grow in (body, voice, demeanor.)

I like charts and I like visuals…

So here’s a comparison table for those visual learners out there.

habitstereotypes

What adjectives would you add to the above chart? (Let me know in the comments)

These stereotypes persist because we let them. Simple as that, right? Welllll sorrtaaa kinnndaaa. We should be able to red light them, BUT we often don’t even realize we’re stereotyping! We can’t allow these stereotypes to continue to weasel their way into our culture through modeled habits that slowly and often unconsciously leach into our own.

“Sit across the table from someone long enough and you pick up their habits.”-Lily Myers

We have to instead be mindful. Lily’s piece confronts today’s culture and the different sets of standards for men and women (see handy dandy chart above) and how we as friends, mothers, aunts, sisters really do play a vital role in the development of young girls around us! (Same goes for the guy side.) We have to be mindful of the treatment we are giving ourselves in the presence of others. If we are indeed more conscious the toxic body hate culture cycle will diminish and be nothing more than a fleck of light in culture. It matters because the little ones, they’re watching (link to dancers).

 

Question: What habits have you picked up from others around you? Good, Bad, Funny, Ugly. We love ‘em all around these shattery glass parts. Leave a comment below!

 

Teachable Moments Through a Lens

notjustagirl

by Jaime Moore, Jaime Moore Photography

Tis the season for all things dress up! As the air crisps, mums bloom and pumpkin flavored everything takes over, (reason numero uno I love fall) thinking about “what am I going to be for halloween” haunts the creative crevices in my brain as well as many young girls.

Will they go with the Mean Girls approach?
“Halloween is the one day a year you can dress like a total slut and no one can say anything.”

The Disney Princess approach?
You know the tutus, tiaras, wands, glitter and twirling all of the twirling (OK before everyone gives me a onetwopunch I love all of those princessy things, exhibitA) But I think Halloween is a time to use your creativity and brain power to come up with an original idea, a homemade creation, something totally silly or having to do with pop culture. Sorry Sally, princesses were so 2008. But just to prove I’m not living under a rock, though it was pretty comfortable there before Facebook, I totes know princesses of the Disney variety will be forever and ever (amen) be a “thing” until the next cultural fad comes into focus blurs all the other lines (link).

So in the spirit of Halloween I want to give a standing ovation to Jaime Moore, a photographer and mother of a 5-year-old young lady, for thinking out side the Mean Girls and Disney Princess mold!

When searching for creative inspiration to take photos of her daughter she stepped away from the fantasy driven princess mantra and centered on real women, history (herstory? hehe…I mean herher?) changing women.

What she did was spot on and not to mention inspirational like whoa.  She dressed her daughter as five women in history—Helen Keller, Amelia Earhart, Susan B. Anthony, Coco Chanel and Jane Goodall—and before the shutter snapped she educated her daughter on each woman’s great achievements. What up teachable moments!

Moore said in Ellen Degeneres’ The Good News column that it was important to educate young girls that there are other role models besides princesses.

“I realized there’s nothing else out there right now when you look at toddlers or young girls’ ideas for costumes or anything. Disney princesses are everywhere,” she says. “I think it would be nice to broaden the horizon a bit… there are real women and real role models for them to look up to.”

Who is your favorite history-making female? Let me know in the comments, pumpkin.

 

The Spooky Reality of Sexy’s Sister, Naughty

Naughty is not so nice when you’re talking about Halloween costumes for toddlers. This year Walmart housed costumes of the animal varieties on their shelves and labeled them as “sexy”, “naughty”, “playful.” However, what Walmart and the Consumerist.com seem to be the most concerned about are not the adjectives describing the costumes, but how inaccurate and non-animal-like the costumes are. Well, I agree with that!

ladies and gents I give you the "naughty leopard"

ladies and gents I give you the “naughty leopard”

For instance, as you can see in the photo to the left the “naughty leopard” frock has a tutu and purple leopard ribbon trim—not quite the furry feline we’re used to seeing in the pages of National Geographic. Spoiler alert: Walmart is pulling the costumes from the shelves to do more “research.”

So why am I writing about this ordeal? Well for one, it’s been cluttering the Interwebz for weeks and I just can’t ignore it any longer. And two, why the heck do people (myself included) get irritated when kid things are labeled with sexual-ese language that connotes that something (this costume for instance) is sexual when in reality it’s not? To be real: It’s a dress accessorized by animal ears.

To be real part deux: It’s marketing at its finest. I’m elated to know that people are opening their eyeballs to these marketing tactics and calling out their one-of-these-things-is-not-like-the-other bluff.

As Jezebel had pointed out, the Halloween costume industry has been a contributor to the over sexualized culture. So now, when we hear “naughty” we (for the most part, admit it!) picture a risqué and lewd version of the actual “thing”. In this case the “thing” is a leopard.  BUT WHY!?! Naughty has since the 1600s been a word used to describe someone being mischievous or behaving improperly. The 1900s is when “Naughty” became “Sexy’s” sister.

I know you’re tired of hearing about leopards, soooo let’s use the “naughty elf,” imagery as an example.

What do you picture when you hear “naughty elf?”

Half of you just pictured a nugget-sized human in the north pole clad in a coat with fur trim and a pointy hat, misbehaving or rigging all the toys to make children sad AND the other half of you thought of a hot-to-trot blonde in a mini skirt covered in jingle bells, sporting a cropped-coat that features white fur trim (surely, that thing can’t be warm) sounding out her vowels (ay-ee-iee-ohhh-ouuu *duck face*).

naughtyelf

north pole toy maker vs. human hot-to-trot woman ready for a costume party. disclaimer: cartoon elf not true to size (in comparison to woman elf on right)

You get the point. So it’s not about the costume being labeled as “naughty”, but rather what the word “naughty” actually means in our culture vs. the dictionary.

It’s time to send Naughty back to the days of wetting paper balls in our mouths and launching them through straws at our classmate’s head, to eating dessert right before dinner, and getting yelled at for not taking off muddy shoes before walking in the house!

Which imagery do you have when you think of “naughty?” How can we get Naughty to stray from her sister Sexy? Share in the comments!

Pink…Not Always a Girl Thing

little me in my sailor get up complete with earrings, "hair" bow and patent leather shoes similar to those on FDR's feet.

little me in my sailor get up complete with earrings, “hair” bow and patent leather shoes similar to those on FDR’s feet.

Today, we are constantly trying to label boys and girls at a glance. We just have to know. Riiiight… now. Enter color codes. Also enter earrings at 6 weeks old and all the double-sided taped on “hair” bows! What? I was pretty much bald until I was three.

Pink and blue were labeled as colors for babies in the mid-19th century but the two colors were not promoted as blue cap for baby boys and pink cap for baby girls until just before World War I. This is history, folks. (herstory?)

The picture below is of Franklin Delano Roosevelt as a youngster. At a glance, to our societal standards today he actually looks like a she, with long locks and sporting a skirt. Yet societal norms of 1884, when FDR at age 2 ½ , dictated that boys wore dresses until they were about 7 years old and this was the time of their first haircut as well. This outfit in those times was indeed gender neutral.

FDR at age 2.5. Bettmann / Corbis

FDR as a youngster sporting his skirt, long locks and patent leather shoes. 
Bettmann / Corbis

Developing these color codes for hospital purposes makes sense. It makes the nurses jobs a tad easier by not having to undo a child’s diaper to identify the correct gender before placing them back in what is *hopefully* the correct crib in the hospital nursery. But really, how did we end up with two “teams” for clothing? (which has now transcended and leached into every part of kid culture clearly defining that blue is for boys and pink is for girls).

Jo B. Paoletti a historian at the University of Maryland and author of the published book, Pink and Blue: Telling the Girls from the Boys in America was quoted in a Smithsonian article answering why there is now two sides.

“It’s really a story of what happened to neutral clothing,” says Paoletti, who has explored the meaning of children’s clothing for 30 years. For centuries, she says, children wore dainty white dresses up to age 6. “What was once a matter of practicality—you dress your baby in white dresses and diapers; white cotton can be bleached—became a matter of ‘Oh my God, if I dress my baby in the wrong thing, they’ll grow up perverted,’ ” Paoletti says.

Wait a minute though! According to a June 1918 article from the trade publication Earnshaw’s Infants’ Department said, “The generally accepted rule is pink for the boys, and blue for the girls.” Pink back in the day was viewed as a strong color whereas blue was softer and more dainty. Even Time magazine agreed! In 1927, the magazine printed a chart showing gender specific colors for girls and boys according to the leading department stores of the time.

Soooo I guess pink hasn’t always been a girl thing. SHUT THE FRONT DOOR, RIGHT? So how in the world (literally) did it get flip-flopped to the gender color codes we are beaten over the head with daily? (not literally)

It’s not where, but who and when these gender specific color wheels were established. Year: 1940
Who: Marketers dictating these new norms and pushing “buy in” from the public. (No surprise there) Girls were to dress like their mothers and boys were to dress like their fathers.

Today many parents are struggling with conforming to gender roles or to letting their little one make decisions for themselves. A-list celebrity Angelina Jolie is well known for allowing her 6-year-old daughter Shiloh to dress as she pleases. She told Vanity Fair in 2010 that Shiloh dresses like “a little dude” and “thinks she’s one of the brothers.” I think for a parent it takes guts to allow your child, especially at such a young age, to dictate their own wardrobe choices! I respect Shiloh’s bravery to challenge societal stereotypes and be free (via her mother) to express herself. (Although at 6 she may not realize it)

Another challenge of these color code norms was last week. I was happy yet shocked when a friend of mine who is a dance teacher said on the first day of class when the 7-year-old girls, clad in their pink leotards and tights, introduced themselves saying their name, school and favorite color—five out of the eight girls said blue or light blue.  Blue, a color that is predominantly gender specific as being a “boy” color. The one girl who said pink was her favorite looked at my friend quizzically, almost saying with her expression, “what’s wrong with them.”

I wonder why this is? What makes these five girls pick a different color other than pink…they could have picked purple (one did) or green or red…but why blue? Maybe they’re tired of being forced to like pink by society?(coughmarketerscough) Maybe girls are tired of being choked by the pink aisle when they go into the toy store, clothing store, or any store. Remember Riley? These girls in my friend’s dance class are all versions of Riley. Dressed in pink leotards looking for a blue one!

Again, these marketer-created color codes dictate what is “right” for little girls to identify with. Pink is for girls, blue is for boys. That’s just how it is. But they are challenging that, which is empowering and refreshing.

Do you think marketers should change up their color coded equation an offer products similar to Goldie Blox for little girls? Offer more gender-neutral clothing? For example, if a pair of blue corduroys does it have to have a football on them? Can’t they just be plain and therefore gender neutral? And…some girls like to play football, amiright?

For more samples of how gender neutral our society was back in history, lookie here!

Mad at Marissa? [a guest post]

Today’s guest post is by Megan Cassidy of MegCassidy.com! She is one of the many lovely bloggers I met while attending the ultimate unconference that was  (*tear*) Bloggers in Sin City. Her post covers Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s CEO, who recently was photographed for an article in Vogue. Thanks Megan for sharing your thoughts aiming to inspire women to eliminate negativity and instead spin it, dip it and flip it to the positive side! It’s time as women, we support each other! 

When I was growing up, I had a thing for Tom Brady and magazines (the thing for Tom Brady still very much exists). If he was on a magazine cover – whether it was GQ, Interview, Esquire, ESPN – me, the 15- or 16-year old, bought it and devoured it, strange looks from store cashiers be damned. I loved reading about my hero, but even more, I appreciated the photos. And not just because he looks like he does. He is impeccably styled to fit the setting he’s in…chilling in overalls with goats, in a t-shirt eating cereal, being a boss in a suit. He is a “man of style,” and he’s almost universally celebrated for it.

Then we have Marissa Mayer, Yahoo’s CEO, who is profiled and photographed in the latest issue of Vogue. The profile chronicles Mayer’s transition of being a new mother, while navigating being a first-time CEO. If you’ve read about Mayer before, none of it is really surprising. She’s a well-educated, whip smart, driven woman who has earned her success over 14 years of work. She’s also been controversial, taking only two weeks off after the birth of her son, and disallowing Yahoo’s work-from-home policy.

Once again, some are up in arms over the profile and the photo. My initial reaction was frustration, at how some women continue to judge other women for one reason or another. Here is one of the most successful people in the world, looking her best, and people are angry about it? Did I miss something?

I did, actually. It might simple be for men (Tom Brady, for example), but for women it is so, so different. After getting some really thoughtful tweets and reactions from friends of mine, I started to see the bigger issues.

The idea that being beautiful and being smart are mutually exclusive is infuriating. The concept of “having it all” is not only infuriating, but running women ragged in pursuit of “it all.” The headline of this CNN story makes me want to kick myself in the face.

While I can understand some frustration and anger directed towards Mayer, from where I work and how I live, she is something to aspire to. I work at a place where the majority of employees are men. Fortunately, there’s an atmosphere of respect and professionalism with almost everyone I work with. The women I work with, especially the well-dressed ones, naturally stand out. That doesn’t change the fact that most successful women are smart, don’t take shit from anyone, command respect and have earned everything that’s come to them. They each have their own sense of style and self.

I think what has me baffled by the whole thing, and the larger issue, is that it’s a story at all. Why must it continue to be a big deal when a successful woman is celebrated with beautiful photos? It’s easy to blame the media for portraying women as it does, and that’s a problem. Media has a huge influence on how we view the world and its constructs. But instead of blaming the media, what if more women viewed Mayer’s success and style in a positive light, and someone who inspires them?

However you choose to view this, in a positive or negative light, remember it’s a choice and it’s yours alone. I guess it comes back to my original thought when I saw the photo and read the piece…maybe it’s because I can relate to working in a male-dominated field, maybe it’s just because I think Mayer is gorgeous, accomplished and I choose to admire her for it. That’s my choice.
What did you think about the profile and photo? If you’re not a fan, how would you rather have seen her look?
BISC Done-Headshots-0092 smallMegan Cassidy works at ESPN, loves having adventures in Connecticut, watches obscene amounts of football and Giada de Laurentis, and runs mostly on iced coffee and blueberries. She blogs about sports and other fabulous things at megcassidy.com. She tweets about sports and other fabulous things here.