Category Archives: Body Image

Barbie’s New Body

TheDollEvolves

Barbie.com

The news was just released that Barbie is getting a new body to be more realistic for the average girl’s body. And my initial reaction was, “FINALLY, MATTEL GOT THE MESSAGE.”  We know that this concept of realistic body images for girls is a hit and some folks have taken it into their own hands to develop realistic dolls, like the founder of Lammily.

Now, the traditional Barbie isn’t getting replaced, but instead will have shelf sisters who are more diverse than ever. In addition, to the changes Mattel made in 2015 by offering different skin tones, Mattel is taking it a necessary step further by added three new body types to the product line: tall, petite and curvy, which also happen to come with different hair colors to best reflect the ever-changing trends of 21st century America. YASSSS!

Not only does this doll evolution develop young girls’ views on self body image in a healthier way, but it also provides a greater chance for play and imagination to run wild. All too often I found myself as a kid throwing doll parties in Barbie’s dream townhouse (complete with pulley elevator) and I often forgot who was hosting the shindig because Veterinarian Barbie looked like Nurse Barbie or wait, was that Ballerina Barbie? — all Barbies in my play trunk looked the same — bright smile, blonde hair, trim waste, always shoeless — except with the only identifier being her clothing, which I changed regularly. Girls now will have the opportunity to play with dolls that closely reflect what’s currently out in the world allowing them to develop more character personas which lead to creative playtime and ultimately growing their reasoning that yes, we’re all people but what makes us beautiful is our differences.

I’m ecstatic that after years of media and bloggers like myself urging Mattel to make changes by exposing the false realities of Barbie’s biology they finally listened. And the new and improved dolls went on sale today at Barbie.com and I’m interested to see how well they do in terms of sales and outreach to more moms, daughters and other Barbie enthusiasts.

 

Watch the video from Mattel on why this evolution is important to them — AKA Mattel showcasing that they’ve received our messages loud and clear!

 

 

All Men Are Capable of Self-Control and I Shouldn’t Have to Thank Them For It

Yes, you read that headline right. A friend and one of my favorite people on the Internet,  Valorie Clark, who I had the pleasure of meeting at Bloggers in Sin City a few years ago posted an article on her Facebook about a new social media campaign out of India that is giving praise to men for not raping women. This is no Onion article, people. Take it away Valorie!

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In case you haven’t heard about the new social media trend attempting to come out of India, let me sum it up for you: Men are asking women to post photos of themselves online holding signs that thank other men for not raping them. They’ve come up with things like “I go out for late night parties with my colleagues, and I always get home safely. #BlameOneNotAll”

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Don’t get me wrong, I am all for showing gratitude where gratitude is due, but this is not where gratitude is due. No, not all men rape, but all women (and men) suffer from rape culture. And rape culture is asking me to thank the men who haven’t raped me for not raping me.

I (you, us, all women) shouldn’t have to publicly thank men for not committing a crime. We shouldn’t have to publicly thank men for “allowing” us to feel safe. We shouldn’t have to publicly say thanks when other members of our society treat us with basic respect.

Choosing not to rape someone is not worth a pat on the back. Just like choosing not to murder someone is not worth a pat on the back. It’s just expected. Pretending that not raping someone makes a man worthy of commendation doesn’t help end rape, it contributes to the continuance of rape culture. Telling men that they should be applauded for choosing not to rape people perpetuates the (wildly false) idea that some men are not capable of choosing not to rape people.

B00424-1024x680All men are capable of self-control. They are not animals. When they rape, they’re choosing to do so. Don’t let this campaign, and other campaigns like it, let you forget that. Don’t let it fool you into expressing gratitude to someone not because they did something for you, but just because they didn’t hurt you. The absence of injury or pain is not the same thing as improvement. You should get home safely when you go out with your colleagues, and you shouldn’t have to write them a thank you note after for not raping you.

B0067No, not all men rape. And I am thankful for that. But it is the responsibility of all men and all women to hold every member of our shared society to a higher standard. That standard is eliminating this idea that rape is normal, and that some men just can’t control themselves. So sure, thank you for not raping me. Go hold your buddies to the same standard.

Guess Who is Shattering The Glass Ceiling? HINT: She’s Running For President

I’ve come along way from playing with Barbies and memorizing the tag poems of my Beanie Babies — who remembers that insane craze? Because after a certain age girls in America are somehow brain numbed to believe and then adapt to the societal standards. You know the ones I’m talking about…the pesky glass ceiling that puts limits on our dreams and our pay because why? Society — ahem — media told us that we belonged in a kitchen instead of a boardroom. Because we should care more about how we look rather than what’s in between our ears and what comes out of our mouths. I call bullshit.
By now, you’ve heard of the woman who is aiming to shatter the ultimate glass ceiling for women and girls throughout the U.S.—Hillary Clinton is running for President. Do you see that? That’s my feminist pride get brighter. Don your sunnies, people!
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In recent years we’ve seen a resurgence of the feminist movement and coalitions of both men and women speaking out for equality for all. My favorite was that of reality star and now big time beauty and style icon, Lauren Conrad, who when asked by a radio host what her favorite position was she — without missing a beat — said, “CEO.”
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Then there’s P!nk who most recently gave her fat-shaming trolling critics the one-two punch. Yes, they were saying P!nk the multi-talented aeriall acrobatic singer, was fat. People are just so strong behind a computer keyboard, but P!nk proved to be even strong. Take that haters. I digress…
It’s time for a woman to take the reigns and steer our country toward progress and for me that means making equal pay a reality, protecting our uteruses—uteri?—from government controls and proving to women that they can and should do anything she wants to do without the fear of malarky standards infiltrating her psyche.
More importantly, Hillary is cutting through the overgrown weeds to create a path for the future of girls in this nation. She’s showing girls that their dreams are limitless. If a girl wants to be president of the free world, she can be and no one can tell her its not possible because Hillary will make it possible. She will.
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And before those of you say, “I support equal rights and women’s rights but not Hillary Clinton for her past behaviors, etc.” You’re entitled to your opinion, but what you must remember is the bigger picture. Currently she’s the only person on the progressive side of the aisle announce her run for the Oval and with four of the Supreme Court justices being over the age of 70, some even into their 80s means the next President of the United States will be appointing FOUR. Count ‘em: one, two, three, FOUR new justices who will be pounding the gavel to either make or break our society and the rules that govern it. I can almost feel my uterus hike up into my intestines in fear. Eeek!

P!nk gives fat-shaming critics the one-two punch!

I’ve always loved P!nk because her music is powerful, her performances are full of beautiful, dare devil aerial antics and her bold girl power prowess knows no bounds. So when twitter gave her ish for looking voluptuous in a black dress while attending a cancer benefit rather than, you know, giving focus to the cause at hand: cancer. She responded to the hate in a way more of us should—she spoke up! Ohhh girl, did she!

Her response is “f*&kin’ perfect,” to quote one of her song titles.
“I can see that some of you are concerned about me from your comments about my weight,” she wrote in a tweet. “You’re referring to the pictures of me from last night’s cancer benefit that I attended to support my dear friend Dr. Maggie DiNome. She was given the Duke Award for her tireless efforts and stellar contributions to the eradication of cancer. But unfortunately, my weight seems much more important to some of you.”

She continued…
“While I admit that the dress didn’t photograph as well as it did in my kitchen, I will also admit that I felt very pretty,” she continued. “In fact, I feel beautiful.”
It’s so easy to be hateful behind a keyboard, but we have to remember it’s just as easy to overcome the hate and be an example and voice of many too. So just when I thought P!nk was all </endrant> she replied to many of her fans tweets and shared them making me feel super OK with consuming that personal pizza at lunch. Dawwww I heart my body even more now. Curvalicious, FTW.


And my personal fav…because it really is all about balance

source: HelloGiggles.com

source: HelloGiggles.com

P!nk concluded with, “So, my good and concerned peoples, please don’t worry about me. I’m not worried about me. And I’m not worried about you either,” P!nk concluded. “I am perfectly fine, perfectly happy, and my healthy, voluptuous and crazy strong body is having some much deserved time off.”

So instead of offering these compliments or being too hard on yourself, cut yourself a break would ya (P!nk did!) , because you my dear, are BE.YOU.tiful!

Don’t Believe The Sales Pitches: No “Losing 15 pounds in 15 minutes” is NOT possible

Run on over to RunHaven.com where I wrote a story about how important it is to put down the latte and back away from the fitness magazines splattered with sales pitches making it seem possible to get a six pack in six minutes. Hint: it’s not.

So kick the miracle drugs and workout plans right in the gonads and instead try these steps instead! 

Squashing Stigma, Like a Girl

A great follow up from my “Losing Your Voice” post about how girls’ voices plummet along with their confidence as they age and discover the cultural and societal (and cruel) norms.

I’m loving that Always is combatting this idea by airing their #LikeaGirl commercial during Sunday’s Super Bowl. I’m also sad this is still a thing and curious about what happens to us females who overtime start to fall into the fold and believe in these ever-grained stigmas of girlhood as being silly and frivolous. I mean, do you remember running like you had two broken knee caps as portrayed in the commercial? No? Me neither. I just ran and ran as fast as I could for as long as I could.
It’s time to end the stigma of being a girl. It’s time to flip it on its head and show the world we are all strong. As for those societal “norms”—get gone, you have no room in this new generation of strong girls!

Grow Your Voice To New Decibels

BeBoldIt’s time to be bolder, older. The complex navigation of the “in between stage” is something we all go through, some of you might be there now, and others have come out on the other end, thriving.

There’s this new phenomenon, OK not new just now being talked about (finally). It is the “losing their voice” phenomenon that is muting girls in the adolescent phase through to adulthood as they become more astute to the culture and societal, albeit ridiculous, standards infiltrating their psyche.

Does this really happen? Absolutely, I’ve been a witness to it time and time again through friends and young girls I interact with at the dance studio. Does it have to happen? No way! And here’s why…

When I was young, I was the girl that hid behind my mother’s legs in elevators, never uttering a peep until I got into the house or car with my family—my “safe” space, while other kids were running around giving their unfiltered opinion of the world around them. Today, I’m a more confident woman, who is bold and isn’t afraid of voicing my opinion, something that has developed over time and really escalating in the last few years, post-college. Who do I have to thank for that?
The real world: It’s complete with an all-too-often male-dominated (we’re working on that!), career driven environment forcing me to be ballsy and step out of my comfort zone.
My mother and other positive female role models and entrepreneurs in my life: They encourage me to be vocal, go after what I want (no matter how big the dream) and never bat an eye at the haters (because haters gon’ hate..hate..hate..)

How can you encourage those girls and women currently idle in this “in between”? Well, Fast Company published a well-articulated article to encourage women to not be comfortable fitting in the feminine and often “passive” role, but to instead be confident, fearless and wildly obsessed with their lives and own their opinions!

Here’s my commentary on Fast Company’s list on how to pump up the girls and women in your life (p.s. you’re included in this!):
1. Encouraging their interests
If it’s boxing, snowboarding, dancing, or putting together vision boards lift them up.  Step into their world, be curious and ask questions, who knows you may learn something yourself. Never ever, shrug it off or tear them down for being into something that’s not your mug o’ joy.

2. Call out and monitor the media, which includes user generated social media (Instagram, I’m looking at you) and be avid in smashing the stereotypes into smithereens through discussions 😉

3. Watch your own talk
OK, THIS IS THE HARDEST. If I’m having a downtrodden day, we all have them, and overall feel “bleh” about my body, I try to spin it around and find something positive about myself, rather than intoxicating my social feeds both online and IRL with my “woe is me” messages, that inadvertently girls and women are reading and listening to which leads to the appearance dictating self-worth in their subconscious, similarly to those Photoshopped teen magazines that show the unrealistic beauty standards. This is a great practice for all you mothers and sisters out there who are constantly around your favorite girl!

4. Create a safe space for them to express themselves
For me, growing up, my expression was in the dance studio, which looking back is strange because I think dance has a stigma of being body obsessed.  I was fortunate enough to grow up in a studio that believes dance is for everyone (shape, size, color—all are welcome!)

5. Bring awareness to the “loss of voice” phenomenon!
Sometimes talking it out (or writing it out) and helping others see that this does happen at their age—but it doesn’t have to—if you’re surrounded by the right people with the right uplifting messages you will forever build your voice to new decibels.

 

 

Private Parts are Private for a Reason

STOP putting chastity belts onI believe every one is entitled to his/her opinion, moral stances, religious beliefs, the works, but I also believe every one (man and woman) should have full authority of their body and being.

My body has no room for government, employers, or anyone else for that matter putting their nose (or anything else) where it doesn’t belong. After all…my privates — my privacy.

As Roe v. Wade marks its 42nd Anniversary today with hundreds of wonderful activists celebrating at the Supreme court this afternoon, these women and men of the feminism movement are standing strong as the House of Representatives votes on the HR7 bill, or the “No Taxpayer Funding for Abortion Act”—a bill that would make it nearly impossible for women to access insurance coverage that includes abortion. I’m proud to be apart of this movement and the steadfast approach to protecting what is rightfully mine, which includes, but is not limited to, whether or not I want to birth and raise a child.
Objections to Roe v. Wade are nothing new. Even 42 years later, states have been putting figurative chastity belts on laws allowing a woman’s right to choose. Some of these overly complex mandates include a mandatory “waiting period” that force women to make regular clinic visits (and spend more money), unnecessary regulations on the facilities that often force those clinics to close their doors, and bans on insurance coverage which increase the out-of-pocket cost of the procedure—many of them, an average women cannot fulfill (because of the ever-present wage gap, another conversation for another day.)

Take action to protect our private parts, they’re private for a reason!  

Now, I know this is a rather radical post here on the Shattered Slipper, but an important one nonetheless. Let’s continue this conversation in the comments.

 

5 Smarty Halloween Costumes

I love the creativity that Halloween brings out in me and others, and I always try to DIY my costumes by collecting things from friends and family, Goodwill, my own wardrobe with an assist from the craft store!

Unfortunately, Halloween has notoriously been known as the holiday where you can “dress like a slut and get away with it,” —that is, according to the movie Mean Girls.
So instead of going sexy, I vote going smarty this Halloween. Here are my top 5 Halloween costume ideas for 2014! What are you going to be? Leave your ideas in the comments!

1. Carmen SandiegoCarmenSandiego

Relive the 90s! The education game show series began airing on PBS in 1991 that had viewers and contestants becoming detectives to solve various mysteries and geography challenges leading up to the chance to capture Carmen and receive a trip! Also, who could forget that iconic theme song?

What you’ll need:

  • Red trench-styled coat
  • Red fedora hat
  • Yellow scarf
  • Black shirt and pants
  • Black boots

Additional Accessories: inflatable globe, a map, or binoculars
Couplet? Have your mate go as Where’s Waldo, you both can we “lost” in love, HA!

AmeliaEarhart2. Amelia Earhart

Take your costume to new heights by dressing up as this pioneer pilot.

What you’ll need:

  • Brown bomber or aviator jacket
  • Khaki pants or slacks with a trim-cut leg
  • Brown riding boots or combat boots
  • White scarf, bonus points for adding a hanger via tape or a trusty needle and thread to the inside and making it look like its “blowing in the wind.”
  • Goggles, ski goggles may do the trick if you have those laying in your coat closet
  • A helmet or a floppy-eared hat, if hats aren’t your thing, the goggles may be enough to get the idea across.
    If you don’t feel DIYing this one, there’s an accessory kit!

Additional Accessories: You could potentially get a model airplane and carry with you, bonus points if you find a backpack like this one!
Couplet? Have your mate go as an airplane! Weee!

RosieRiveter3. Rosie the Riveter

A cultural icon with an empowering message, “We Can Do It!” And you can do with this easy-to-put-together costume.

What you’ll need:

  • Red with white polka dotted scarf or fabric, enough to go around your head and tie in the front
  • Jeans, bonus points if they’re high-waisted—how retro!
  • Blue button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up, be sure to tuck in the shirt or tie it in a knot at the waist.
  • Red lipstick
  • Hair up!
  • Black combat boots
  • A flexed bicep for the iconic pose.

Additional Accessories: Create a yellow “backdrop” with the “We Can Do It” speech bubble on cardboard, attach elastic loops, wear as a backpack.  This may be a bit difficult for a night on the town, but may work well at a house party…with large doorways.
Couplet? Have your mate go as a member of the Army, both are appropriate for the WWII timeframe.

LadyLiberty4. Lady Liberty

Because Amurica and Freedom and because in several states this November it’s election season!

What you’ll need:

  • A blue-green bed sheet or a white one dyed a blue-green
  • Rope or chording from the craft store painted/dyed the same color as sheet
  • Burger King crown, halfed and painted to match
  • Flip flops or gold sandals, feel free to spray paint these as well to match
  • This amazing clutch that looks like a book from Asos! 
  • Torch: flash light, add matching colored foam around the base and up and attach orange and yellow tissue paper to the lens of the flashlight and WHA-LA! or you could just buy one here. 

Additional Accessories: Purchase silver or blue-green body paint for your face and arms (though a long sleeve shirt may be easier and more comfortable when dyed to match) Also if face paint irritates your skin, like it does mine, opt for silver eye shadow and lip stick to finish the look.
Couplet? Have your mate go as Uncle Sam.

RubiksCube5. Rubiks Cube

Who doesn’t love a creative costume brainteaser?

What you’ll need:

  • Three boxes from UPS or FedEx that are wide enough to fit around your torso
  • Different colored construction paper or paint (don’t forget the brushes!) to create the different colored blocks
  • Black duct tape to tape it all down or define the blocks of color
  • Sharp Scissors or a X-acto to cut round holes in the boxes, big enough for your body
  • To wear under: anything! I recommend a black tank top or long sleeve shirt and leggings or shorts.

Additional Accessories: Wear color sneakers to complete the look, Converses work great! Oh! and bonus points if you make the rubiks cube solvable!
Couplet? Have your mate go as a nerd that is trying to solve you!

From SunshineSouthern.wordpress.com. Click here to visit her blog and get more step by step instructions!

A version of the finished product from SunshineSouthern.wordpress.com. Click here to visit her blog and get more step by step instructions!

Now, I want to hear from you! What smarty costumes have you come up with in the past? What are you going to be this year?

 

 

Face Strip Down

Celebrities of the musical variety are using their powers for good! They’re using their talents to stand up and go public about their distaste with how the media is portraying false beauty standards, as reality. And I love it. First, Lorde took to her Twitter page by showing a side-by-side photo comparison of her in concert. Now, Colbie Caillet, the beach vibe singer is making her voice heard and her face seen through her new music video “Try.” In the video, Caillet along with several women of all ages, shapes and colors strip down. No, not stripped down like they’re starring in a rap music video. They’re stripping down their faces. One woman after another wipes off her make-up and lets down her hair in exchange for basking in her “au natural” glory! I adore this concept, and in fact it inspired me to go make-up-free all weekend. Even when I attempted to cheat and dabbed on some mascara, the wand stabbed me in the eye. Karma. Make-up is the real life Photoshop, it makes flaws disappear with the sweep of a brush or a dab of a sponge. But who said they were flaws to begin with? It’s safe to say that the media played a large role in pointing out others flaws, which then make us think, from viewing the media, “well if I look like that, then am I flawed?” We start to question, we start to hide behind who we really are in exchange for what society wants us to be.  And before we realize we’re looking in the mirror not knowing who’s staring back at us. Caillet’s lyrics give beauty ideals the one-two punch. HIIIYAAH! Her lyrics zoom way in to the thought that, you know, being you is enough. She sings:

Take your make-up off Let your hair down Take a breath Look into the mirror, at yourself Don’t you like you? Cause I like you

A message that Bruno Mars can stand behind: “girl, you’re amazing just the way you are.” You just have to believe it, for everyone else to do the same.

Have you ever gone make up free? Would you? If you have, was your experience difficult or invigorating!?

Hey Internet, here's me sans make-up. It's freeing and really quite scary. GAH!

Hey Internet, here’s me sans make-up. It’s freeing and really quite scary. GAH!

update: My friend and fellow blogger Jess brought my attention to John Legend’s new song You & I (Nobody in the World) that was just released this month and it sends a similar message to Caillet’s—”you don’t have to try” because being your true self, without all the glitz and glam, is the best part about you. This video speaks 1000+ words!